Glances
by evenstar131
Summary: Hey guys, um. This one is kinda really dark and has suicide in it, so be careful if your unsure. No point in hiding it, this is about Luna. But I'm pretty damned sure it definetly OOC. Would she really kill herself?


> Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. Come to think of it, I don't own any characters...except Dyeisth of course...hmm. But she's not in this story! Oh my God! I have no power over me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Um, please forgive me for that. I am slightly insane. The story I own, the plot I own, and any characters you don't recognize from stories or movies or otherwise I created and am the sole possessor of. You can ask for them. But you won't get them!!!!  
  
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!  
  
But maybe I won't use any new characters. You'll just have to read to find out!!!!!  
  
Glances  
  
Eyes unfocused, her hair fanning out behind her in the slight breeze, her head propped up on her arm, her thoughts turned inward. This was insane. It was madness. She'd never done anything to anyone. Why did they despise her so much? Was it the incessant jabbering about new things learnt? Or was it what she looked like? Or was it because she wasn't a pureblood that they jeered and called names and cried insults? She could never know. But she could try to understand. Every time they glanced her way, in their eyes she saw first pity, then resignation as others glanced at them, forcing shards of determination into those otherwise secretly compassionate faces. No. They would never explain to her why they did this.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Walking down the hall, her heavy bag swung across her back, she tried to ignore the jeering and the laughing. Her blonde hair, tied back with a black elastic, frizzed at the edges. A sure sign of anger. But she must control it. Hold it in, fight the impulse and hide the truth. Why couldn't she just let it out? Why couldn't she just turn around and scream, at the tops of her lungs, to the world? Maybe someone would listen then. Maybe someone would hear her cries and would understand. Instead of screaming to a room full of empty people, she could scream to an empty room full of understanding.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Much as she was loath to do, the most she could do was dwell in a quagmire of self-pity. Sitting in the common room before the leaping, dancing flames, her eyes once more became unfocused, and her mind began to shift in incessant cyclic motions of confusing and bitter thoughts. She would never know how this had saved her from the terror of insanity. The absolute loneliness, greater, even, than the sense of abandonment she felt now, and the cold hard edge of madness forcing, unbidden, the cold hard darkness of living death upon her frail, mortal frame. She could never know this, for her mind had defences, and thoughtless query and contemplation was one of them. But only for so long.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Pay attention."  
  
Yes, pay attention. That's all they had to say to her. She wanted them to know, but then again she wanted no one to know. Arguments for both sides scurried from one side of her mind to the other, and in the brightly lit classroom she felt her mind begin to slip into its unconscious woolen shell. Oh, she could still function on a physical level, but she was detached. She could hide herself in the cloud of her mind and whisper sweet cruelties to her frameless thoughts.  
  
Flashes of existence danced in the solemnity of her frozen thoughts, and she saw what was. The futility of it all. The truth of existence. She had discovered life's meaning. Loath as she was to share this gem of cloudy inspiration, she opened the book and took from her ink well the black, bloody quill. Writing in her own blood she penned her truth and her discovery, and she slashed at the skin of her mortal text.  
  
Still no one would know why. Not even she was aware that she knew why. The words opened viciously over and over and over and over...
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Where is she?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well here obviously!"  
  
"You don't have any understanding, do you? She's here physically."  
  
"But not emotionally or mentally."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Is she insane?"  
  
Quietly. "Is she dead?"
> 
> * * *
> 
> _no, I'm not. no. No. I can't be! I'm Not. LISTEN!_
> 
> * * *
> 
> She could here those voices burning in her mind like a cold, molten brand. And she tried to respond. But her mouth wouldn't work.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "It was the potion."  
  
Those words echoed down the corridor as person-to-person understanding finally dawned. But too late. As the crystal phial fell, finally, from her limp form, and shattered into a thousand single shards, her mind flew to the veil. To beyond _them.  
_  
Staring at herself from her vantage of the veil, she saw the crimson droplets stop forming on her cold lifeless skin, and she saw how it was suddenly fashionable to be remorseful and sorry for her death. It was all lies.  
  
Lies.  
  
Like a daemon the lies rose up and consumed each and every one of the people in the school, and there they were consumed by the guilt hidden. They deluded themselves as a writer deludes their readers, with sugared words and bitter phrases. Everyone.  
  
Except them.
> 
> * * *
> 
> They knew her; she was their friend, though she had not known how it all worked... this friendship. That's why she wasn't there anymore. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny. And her.  
  
"What happened to her?"  
  
Tears streamed down Hermione and Ginny's faces.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Ron was in shock, as was Neville.  
  
Harry wasn't.  
  
"No one ever knew her. No one ever tried!" He was angry now. "No one! None of you, not even me, tried to reach her. She was falling and we let go of the rope!"  
  
tears filled his startlingly green eyes...  
  
"We never even noticed."
> 
> * * *
> 
> Turning finally from the cold body, everyone walked toward their destiny, different paths forcing them to different meaning. Final glances littered those still there, before they too left the body. Not cold and uncaring anymore. Sorrowful and lost.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "We never even noticed."
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Goodbye Luna."
> 
> * * *
> 
> Yes. _Goodbye_.
> 
> * * *
> 
> A.N. Ok guys. I know, dark and angsty and oh so annoying to some people, but hey. If it annoys you, stop reading! I know that some will be annoyed that I didn't mention the fact that the girl was Luna until the end, but hey. What's done is done. Besides, if you're going to say you don't like it, say why. Give criticism...but not if it's not constructive, because then I can't improve, can I? Hmmm?  
  
Second, you're all probably saying, but Luna's not a mudblood. Well I don't know that. I can't find it in the books, but then again, my average reading time is at 3:00 in the morning, so maybe I missed it. Is she? Could someone please tell if she is a review, because I'd like to amend the story if necessary to incorporate the truth of her lineage.  
  
Otherwise, please Read and Review.


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